what's about friendship?

A topic I have been wanting to blog about some time back but never had the time or enough zest to do so. Guess my student's post got me started to question about this word calls "friendship" tonight.

How do we make friends and how do we maintain a friendship? What type of friends do you have and how much do you treasure them? Is it by fate we get to know this person or by choice? What is your definition of a friendship and what will you share with a close friend? Will there ever be an everlasting friendship till the end? I guess nobody will ever have any conclusive answer since these questions are rather subjective and i guess i have passed the age of looking for THE answer since it depend what perspective you are taking.. always.. if not most of the time.

I fell out with a friend who I deemed as a close one a month or two back. We were friends since Sec 1 and we tried to maintain this friendship for the past 17 years even though we were never ever in the same class again after Sec 1 and 2. I wont try to say that I have been the best of a friend for the past 17 years since I do have my moments, my tempers at times. A recent episode caught me by surprise at how much she had been trying to ignore the fact that I was "copying" her. Ha! I can only say at that moment, everything is so surreal and I realised how difficult it was to be telling the truth and yet this person dont believe you and claim that you are untruthful and sort. In retrospect, the whole issue is really ridiculous and is not something you would expect to deal with at the age of 30! She used harsh words that I dont think I will ever forget on a friend whom she knew for 17 years. I totally cannot agree with those words coming from a friend of 17 years... a functioning grown up not a teenager or a sick person. In conclusion, this friendship has changed and it will never be the same again. I'm tired of this friendship, so tired that I am wiling to let it go.. yes... 17 years. I was hurt but life goes on and i will treat it as a terrible life experience which I survived yet again. Though I lost something, I realised I do gain more from this episode. friends and family especially. Friendship- who say you wont be hurt by it at the age of 30? Who dare say that friendship issue is only for students only. :)

The gals in my form class are not simple gals. They are real emotional and sensitive. So much so that I get very tired from all their friendship nonsenses. Their nonsense go to the extent that one even threatened to die one year ago. I was grieving for my 2 lost students over that same weekend and I'm glad i had enough strength to deal with that life threatening issue. I know at their age, friends are the most important beings to most of them. They formed cliques real fast and get upset over the most minor thing real fast. One of my gals smsed me tonight to ask me to read another gal's blog as it's all the "friendship" stuff. I just replied "I got markings to do ya, no time" :D

But I still went to take a peak just now. Man... the things she wrote... so emo (I think they have too much free time now since Exam is over)...I dont know if my students can work through this on their own. I will be patient and let them try to solve it.

Seriously, I like the boys in my class better. They had their own growing up pains like why no girls like him but like the other one, smoking, playing truants, playing rough till the extend that someone's glasses cracked. Thank god that their pains are not that frequent and it is still within control for yours truly. They are not too bother by friendship and half the boys in my class are blur like sotong when it come to all the girly girly friendship that their female counterparts are getting so emo about. Some sensible ones who cant wait to watch a R(A) movie legally will try to be man and say all girls are so childish...

Ha. What can I say? I am not so sure of the role of a friend, what will you do and not do to a friend anymore. this issue of friendship looks weird to me as I question more. Maybe I should find a friendship guru to hold a session with them and me.

My ramblings... and gosh... seems long. :)